your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Don't you send me to vm
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
