I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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