so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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