Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My cat gives me a boner
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
