what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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