An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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