I feel great
I just peed on a car
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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