Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
