I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
