dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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