she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
