He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
