talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
you had me at cake vodka
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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