I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
