My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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