At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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