Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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