No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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