If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
