If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
