That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
