i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
