hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize