I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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