We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
