I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
