new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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