My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Drunk is not a location!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
