It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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