areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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