Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
