She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm like, not good at living.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
