I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Dear god my vagina.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
