i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
