Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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