I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
