Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
