This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
