I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
