but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
