yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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