She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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