# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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