I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
