So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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