Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
