i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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