my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
