He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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