he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
