i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
