She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
