I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
be right there i have to get my cape
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
