I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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